


Keeping Fighting

by TwistedDuck



Series: I will not give up and I will not give in [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Acceptance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Smut, Supernatural Elements, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-03 01:44:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5271872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwistedDuck/pseuds/TwistedDuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Following on from Hurt. Life with the Winchesters and all that entails.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I’ve Poisoned Every Room in My House

**Author's Note:**

> So I just kept writing after hurt. No particular direction but it's something to do. Hope you like. If not, sorry for any time you waste reading it. Btw all chapter titles are quotes from Manic Street Preachers songs
> 
> xxx

The bed was empty again when you woke up the next day. Worrying about what that could mean, you slipped your Marvel lounge pants on and wandered towards the kitchen. You slowed down as you heard the brothers talking in hushed tones. Freezing outside the door you tried to listen in.

“Are you sure she’s okay Sammy?”

“As she can be. We just have to remind her how much we love her. Dean, what she’d done to herself, I know Cas warned us but to hate herself so much…How can she? How can she not see how wonderful she is?”

Feeling your eyes fill with tears of guilt, shame and undeserved love, you turned to go hide back in your room only to walk into something hard wearing a trench coat. Arms wrapped around you and pulled you tight into the chest of their owner. 

“How are you?” asked Castiel 

You shrugged. 

“May I fix you?”

“I wish you could” you laughed through your tears. Cas stared at you, confused by your gallows humour.

“But I can. Your cuts will easily be healed”

“I meant my brain Cas; it was a joke. But yes please. I don’t mind them but I’m sure they upset Sam”

Cas touched your forehead and you felt the warmth run through your body as it was repaired. You pulled away to check your arms and saw only faint scars remain.

“Thanks Cas”

“You know it’s not just Sammy who’s upset by you hurting yourself” said a deep voice behind you. 

Spinning round you met a pair of stunningly green eyes looking back at you. The pain in them made your throat burn and you looked at the floor, tugging your sleeves down in embarrassment. Dean’s arms wrapped around you and he kissed the top of your head.

You wanted to apologise but you also wanted to make them understand how mistaken they were to care in the first place. You knew yourself better than anyone else did; you knew how horrible you truly were. You weren’t worthy of their love no matter how much you craved it. They were too good, too pure to be sullied by your presence.

“Do you really believe that?” asked Cas.

“Please don’t read my mind Cas” you muttered.

“No I think we deserve to know what’s going on in that head of yours. Particularly if you’re going to do stupid things to yourself the minute we leave you alone” growled Dean.

You stiffened in his arms feeling ashamed and perverted. What kind of freak purposefully injured themselves? No wonder Dean was disgusted by you.

“Dean, I said go easy. I know you mean well but you’re upsetting (Y/N)” Once again your beautiful Sammy was foolishly protecting you. But Dean was right. You were pathetic and disgusting. 

“That’s not what Dean is thinking at all (Y/N)”

“Cas!” both you and Dean snapped in unison. This at least broke the tension as you both started laughing.

“I’m sorry (Y/N) I’m just worried is all. You’re family, I love you like a sister. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I can’t understand why you care so little for yourself.”

“Wow, a lesson in self-esteem from Dean Winchester. Seriously? Jeez I must be screwed up” 

Suddenly your feet left the ground as you were flung over Dean’s shoulder.

“Sammy I hope you weren’t too attached to this thing as I’m trying to think of a suitable punishment for its cheek and it ain’t gonna be pretty”

“Nah do what you will” Sam laughed.

“Dean Winchester you put me down right now or I swear to Cas’s Dad I will kick your ass into next week!”

Dean turned to Sam “Did you hear something?”

“No. Cas did you hear something?”

“Yes (Y/N) threatened Dean with time travel caused by violence”

Dean laughed so hard you genuinely feared he may drop you. His grip wasn’t helped by your own roaring laughter. Clearly Dean was also worried as he slid you down so you were stood back on solid ground albeit briefly. You were swooped into Sam’s arms instead and carried away to the bedroom you shared.

Kicking the door shut behind him, Sam carried you over to the bed and laid you down on it gently before laying down next to you. Pulling you close he snuggled you into him before kissing your head and contentedly sighing. Curled together in each other’s warmth and comfort you both drifted back off to sleep.


	2. I am stronger than Mensa, Mailer and Miller

You and Sam had spent the next two days in bed watching Netflix, listening to music, reading and well, fucking of course. You were worried Sam may be a little on edge around you but he had enough sense to act as he normally would. You were thankful, you may be a little mentally fragile on occasion but you despised being treated like an invalid. 

Dean learnt this the hard way when you all got wind of a new case. Pulling you aside he asked if it was really sensible for you to be thinking of going hunting in your condition. Within seconds Dean was on the floor with your knee on his throat. 

“Still think I’m not up to it?” you smirked before jumping up and helping him back to his feet.

Rubbing his throat he grunted “You could have just said yes y’know” before turning to stalk off.

“Where’s the fun in that?” you exclaimed taking a running jump and landing on his back, wrapping your legs tightly round his waist. “Giddy up Deano; to the kitchen for supplies”

In the kitchen you found Sam and Cas sat discussing the case. You clambered off Dean and went to sit next to Sam, snuggling into his side. Your fingers entwined and he lifted your hand to his lips kissing the back of it. For all his talk of dislike for public acts of affection, Dean always smiled when you and Sam displayed these subconscious acts of adoration. He knew you made each other happy. He saw it on his dopey little brother’s face the moment he first saw you. 

You kept bumping into each other on the same cases; Dean could see what was happening but you were both fighting it for your own reasons. Sam because of his belief that anyone who dated him was cursed, and you because of your determination not to inflict yourself on anyone else. Not until you got concussed one day in the process of saving Sam from a Shapeshifter did you tell him how you felt. They took you back to the bunker to recover and he sat with you for two days to make sure you were okay. You moved in permanently a few weeks later and after several months of sneaking back and forth to each other’s rooms in the middle of the night, Dean gave you the ultimatum. Pick one room to share or he would lock your doors on a night to stop you waking him up. The next day you moved into Sam’s room. It wasn’t long after that when your first depressive episode since meeting the boys hit and you left for a few weeks to clear your head. 

But now you didn’t need to hide it anymore; you felt happier than you had in a long time. Absentmindedly you beamed up at Sam then over at Dean and Cas. The Winchesters didn’t notice but Cas looked up at you and smiled back before getting up and walking over. You got up and he hugged you to him. You found yourself gently crying into his chest.

Confused by this turn of events, Sam and Dean gawped at each other. Sam started to get up from his seat out of concern but Cas held up his hand to stop him.

“It’s okay Sam, she’s just very content and at peace right now. I could sense the joy emanating from her mixed with the desire to share it. Crying is just her body’s reaction to the mental relief she’s feeling” Cas explained. 

“Chicks man, fucking crazy” Dean muttered.

You turned your head so that Dean could get the full force of your bitch face. Looking back you realised how wet Cas’ shirt was. You pulled away from him drying your eyes. “Sorry about that although you do look mighty fine in a wet shirt Cas” Looking round you saw Sam and Dean’s expressions of incredulity. “What? I am a red blooded straight woman you know!” 

“Think you may have to keep your wits about you Sammy.”

“Sammy has nothing to worry about in his wits or any other department Dean, trust me” you smirked before sitting back down next to him. Sam swooped you onto his lap tightly wrapping his arms around you. He may not really feel threatened but he still wanted to stake his claim on you. 

You stayed like that for another couple of hours discussing the case before Dean and Cas decided to turn in. Sam was about to suggest you did the same when you held a finger to his mouth. Once you heard two bedroom doors shut in the distance, you removed your finger and replaced it with your own lips. 

Still facing forwards on his lap, you wrapped your legs the other side of his and began to slowly rock your crotch against his.

“I could feel you intermittently standing to attention for the last hour you know” you breathed between kisses grinding harder onto him.

“Are you surprised?” he gasped moving his mouth to kiss the back of your neck whilst one hand snaked into your underwear to find your clit. His thumb stroked over it producing groans that caused him to bite on the back of your neck to silence his own. 

You started to edge your hand backwards to his waistband but his other arm grabbed your wrist. 

“This is all about you baby” he growled into your ear. 

With that he gently pushed you so that you were laid flat over the table; his hand not breaking contact with your clit once. Man this boy could multitask. He pulled your jeans and underwear down with his free hand as if they were nothing. 

Feminist you may be but a dominant Sam Winchester was enough to make any woman gasp. Sam may be bigger and stronger than you but you both knew who was in charge. If you said stop, Sam would stop without a moments’ hesitation. But what right minded woman would ever tell Sam Winchester to stop? 

Sam moved between your legs still rubbing your aching clit. You heard the sound of his jeans drop to the floor and felt him ask for permission to enter. Nodding you felt him begin to enter gently at first until your legs wrapped around him pulling him inwards. Bottoming out caused you to groan so loud Sam had to put his hand over your mouth to silence you. Sucking on his finger you gave him a knowing look which made him smile as he pinned your wrists under one of his big hands before wrapping his hand round your mouth. He edged you up so that your clit rubbed on the table edge every time he thrust into you. He bit and nibbled your back whilst your hips rocked against him. The pressure of his hand on your wrists was bound to leave bruises but you didn't care.

The ecstasy was getting too intense, stars began to swim in your eyes as you clenched around Sam. Within seconds you were both orgasming before collapsing spent across the table. Sam lent across and kissed you lovingly before helping you up and pulling your jeans back up. Once you were both dressed you cleaned the table looking at each other sheepishly. 

Cas appeared in the doorway then and informed you that Dean wished you to know that he was unimpressed with you performing coitus on the kitchen table and he did not need to have such disgusting images every time he ate. You roared laughing, pecked Cas on the cheek and dragged Sam by the hand to your bedroom.

Silently giggling you stopped outside Dean’s door and began groaning “Sammy not outside your brother’s door, we can’t”. 

Sam caught on quick and began groaning your name back before kicking the door as if he’d slammed you against it. Dean wrenched his door open to find you giggling like a pair of naughty school children.

“Sorry Dean” you laughed. You stretched up to peck him on the cheek too. Pulling Sam towards your room again you called over your shoulder “Don’t worry we bleached the table”.  
You heard Dean shout “Son of a Bitch” before his door slammed shut.


	3. To Find a Place I Become Untethered

You woke up curled into Sam’s side the next morning. He was still fast asleep, snoring lightly. Looking up at the beautiful Sasquatch you whispered “I love you Sam Winchester with all my heart and soul. You saved me even though I didn’t deserve it. You are the purist soul and I am yours for as long as you want me” 

Even in his sleep his mouth twitched into a smile and he pulled you closer into his side. Just as you were beginning to lie your head back down on his chest there was a loud thump at the door and Sam shot up in bed sending you tumbling off him. At the last minute his arm reflexively grabbed your waist and pulled you back to the safety of the bed. 

“Rise and shine lovebirds”

“JERK!” you shouted back in unison. 

Sam started to fuss and apologise for nearly injuring you and grumbling about kicking Dean’s butt but you just laughed and kissed him to quell his mutterings.

Shouting goodbye to Cas as he went off on angel business; you, Sam and Dean were dressed and in the Impala on your way to Franklin Grove, Illinois within the hour. Some local kids had recently disappeared whilst spending the night at Cimelus Haunted Cemetery as a part of an end of term dare. Now the local parents were up in arms determined to get to the bottom of what happened. 

Luckily you had a friend living nearby who could fill you in on the local legend halving the time you needed to be suited up interviewing the already frightened residents. Not that you minded the boys all suited. In fact Sam cut an alluringly beautiful figure in his uniform and although you’d never admit it to either brother, Dean looked pretty damn hot in his too. But you really hated your monkey suit. You were used to comfy clothes and minimum make up, and for some reason Sam loved you like that too. Having to dress prim and proper made you uncomfortable and anxious. You’d constantly fuss with the hem of your skirt or your shirt sleeves. Becoming aware of what you were doing only made it worse. 

Thankfully Sam could sense when you were spiraling and one of his hands would briefly touch yours; too quick for anyone to notice other than you but it was always enough to ground you. 

So you went and hung out with Amy whilst the boys did the FBI shtick. Over a bottle of wine, you and Amy discussed the local ghost stories all of which could quickly be dismissed as fiction. When the Winchesters arrived, you and Amy had moved on from discussing the supernatural to raucously laughing about events in your shared past. Amy’s jaw dropped at the sight of the boys. Leading them back into the lounge she said “Are you telling me one of these are the man you were determined not to date?” 

Blushing from the combination of wine and embarrassment, you looked at your feet and muttered something about her knowing the reasons. Sam moved over to you and wrapped his arm around your waist; this simple gesture let you know that he understood and accepted your reticence when you first met.

“Yeah, yeah, your reasons were all noble and out of some bizarre notion that he needed protecting from you but nobility be damned girl, look at them!”

“Yeah, I put up with the same bullshit from Sammy here” said Dean, jerking his thumb at his brother. “Did you get the late night drunken ramblings too?”

“So many weepy phone calls. ‘I love him Amy’, ‘He deserves better than me Amy’ and my favourite ‘Why doesn’t he love me Amy?’ OW!”

A well-aimed cushion had just hit Amy squarely in the face. Not hard enough to hurt but hard enough to get your point across. 

But Dean was having too much fun to stop the conversation just yet. “Oh come on, Sammy was unbearable so I bet you were too. Plus I’m enjoying this insight into a lovelorn (Y/N).” Turning back to Amy, Dean was opening his mouth to spill about Sam when a wine cork hit him on the side of the head with a loud thunk. 

“Bitch”

“Jerk”

You and Sam stared at Amy and Dean with a united wall of bitch face but they both just laughed at you.

“Sam I think we’ll have to bring out the big guns” you said

“You don’t surely mean?”

But you just nodded at him and you both turned to face Dean and Amy with your biggest and best puppy eyes.

“Balls” they said in unison.

Knowing they had lost that round, conversation returned to the case in hand. With such a small population to interview it didn’t take long to swap information. You quickly agreed that all the evidence went against it being ghosts or poltergeists. No sign of vampires in the area and it hadn’t been a full moon so werewolves were out. There was also no sulphur present which ruled out demons (hopefully) but then what were you dealing with? 

“So stake out the cemetery tonight?” you asked

The brothers nodded and you all decided to get some sleep before then. As the boys went to get your stuff from the Impala, Amy gave you a hug and told you how genuinely happy she was for you and Sam. When the boys got back you were shown to your respective rooms. Sam fell asleep quickly but as you’d slept in the car on the way there you really didn’t need to sleep. Instead you contented yourself with being curled into Sam and feeling the rise and fall of his chest against your back. 

Having dozed for a few hours, you and Sam changed into your usual hunting clothes before venturing downstairs to join Dean and Amy. There were three major paths through the graveyard so it was decided that you take one each and meet back up at Baby; an hour should cover it easy. With the plan agreed, Amy saw you to the car but grabbed your arm as you were opening the back door.

“I don’t like this (Y/N). Can’t you stay here whilst Sam and Dean go deal with whatever it is?” 

“I’ll be fine. Honestly. I’ve done this hundreds of times. Sam and Dean are the best. Nothing’s going to happen to any of us, I promise.”

With that you hugged your old friend and clambered into the back seat trying to silence the voice in your head that was pointing out that promising nothing would go wrong practically guaranteed something would.


	4. Solitude, the Eleventh Commandment

When you got to the cemetery you collected your weapons from the boot before gathering for one last talk.

“Remember we’re just staking out tonight guys. Do not engage” Dean commanded. 

“Sir, yes, sir” you saluted causing Sam to smirk.

“Come on guys, be serious will ya?” 

“Sorry Dean. But come on, we know the drill. Everything’s going to be fine.” For fucks sake, why did you have to keep saying that? Now you’d doubly cursed the mission. 

Entering the graveyard, you headed up the main path until you hit the fork where you would separate. Dean gave you a smile before continuing forwards and allowing you and Sam a few seconds of privacy. With the sense of foreboding growing in your stomach, you pulled Sam to the side of a tree and climbed up a couple of the lower branches so you could look at him face to face. Sam just laughed and lifted you down into his arms, leaning against the tree for support whilst you wrapped your legs around his waist. You stared into his eyes worried as usual that it may be for the last time, then lent in to kiss him; your hands in his hair whilst his supported your lower back and neck. When the kiss finally broke, you rested your foreheads against each other. “I love you Sam Winchester so you be careful you hear me?”

“I love you too (Y/F/N). No heroics okay? Just come back to me”

Sliding off him you hugged one last time before you set off. 

Wandering down this dark path unaware of what you were hunting was not your idea of fun but people needed saving so you sucked it up and got on with it. Your path lead through the older more aristocratic section of the cemetery and very soon you were passing increasingly ornate tombs and mausoleums. 

Outside one of the grander mausoleums were traces of a small fire that looked a few days old. Moving forwards you noticed the bin a little further down the path had some empty beer bottles in. Well at least the kids had been tidy, or whatever had taken them had tried to hide the evidence of them being there. Sadly you thought this was more likely. 

Scanning the area for any other evidence you noticed one of the grills to the side of the nearest mausoleum’s door wasn’t fully back in place. Moving the grill aside, you wriggled through the hole into the small building. Treading carefully, you shone your torch around to see if there were any other possible exits but everything seemed normal. Just as you were about to give up you heard a call for help below you. Desperately searching for where the voice was coming from you didn’t notice the weakness of the floor you were stood on until it was too late. Falling 8 foot is never fun, but falling 8 foot into the lair of some unknown monster was definitely worse. 

Feeling winded you tried to stand up only to realise you’d broken your ankle. Spewing a list of profanities, you pulled yourself up using the nearest wall as support. Looking around you, you saw the missing college kids and hoped they were still alive. Hobbling over to one of the girls, you gingerly felt for a pulse on her neck. It was there but very weak. On further examination you discovered that she had several deep cuts over her arms and bowls underneath gathering the blood. Next to her was a boy with deep bites in his arms. 

“Fucking ghouls” you muttered.

“Fucking hunter” came a voice from behind you before something heavy hit you on the head and you crashed unconscious onto the floor.


	5. Glittering Etiquette; Mausoleum Rent

You couldn’t decide if it was the throbbing in your head or the burning pain in your arms that brought you to. You tried to rub your head but realised your hands and feet were both tied in front of you and connected by another length of rope. You were also in a worrying state of undress; pair of boy shorts, bra, tee shirt and socks. 

“Son of a major fucking bitch” you groaned.

“Language darling, there are children present” you retorted.

Hang on, that’s not right. Either that bang on the head had finally loosened what little sanity you had left or…

“I know we look good enough to eat” said a ghoul emerging from the shadows, looking exactly like you and wearing your missing clothes. “Do you think your boy toy will know the difference? I don’t. Well not until I plunge this into his heart” it said twirling a jagged knife “but by then it’ll be too late of course.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about”

Without warning it slammed a knife into your forearm, twisting it before tugging it back out. The shock of it made you scream but you managed to cut it short, determined not to show any fear. There were kids here who needed saving, you had to keep it together for their sake.

“Oh I think you do” it said before stabbing the blade into your thigh. 

“Nope, no idea” you hissed out through gritted teeth.

“We’ll see about that shall we?” It continued to slash and stab at you but you took every injury without a sound, closing off the pain in your mind. 

Just as you were beginning to worry your resolve would fail, you heard Sam calling you in the distance. Before you even had chance to warn him a rag was shoved unceremoniously into your mouth. 

“We’ll be back for you later, if you haven’t bled out by then of course” it sneered at you before climbing through a vent you hadn’t noticed to the side. You heard it moving on the floor above then scrambling out through the hole at the front of the mausoleum. 

We’ll? Bollocks you forgot there was more than one.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ghoul you scrambled out and straight into Sam and Dean.

“Dude you fucking stink” remarked Dean.

“Yeah what happened baby? You’ve been gone nearly two hours” said Sam.

“Sorry guys, floor gave way in there, knocked myself out and woke up lying next to some mangy old corpse”

“Don’t know why you’re complaining, you wake up next to Sammy everyday” quipped Dean.

Sam bitchfaced him and ghoul you laughed but just a beat too late. Dean and Sam looked at each other but shrugged it off as concussion. 

Heading back to the Impala ghoul you rang Amy to let her know you were on your way back.  
 


	6. Embarrassed, Possessed and so Uncivilised

Threatening you was one thing but now Sam, Dean and Amy were in danger, that bitch was going to pay. Scooting forwards you managed to grab the bowl the ghoul had been using to gather the college girl’s blood. Smashing it against the floor, you picked up one of the larger pieces of it and began to saw at the ropes tying your wrists. It was slow monotonous work and you slipped a few times stabbing yourself in the arms but eventually, after five tedious minutes, you were free. Undoing the knots around your legs were a lot easier. You stood up, wobbling on your broken ankle and faint from blood loss. You quickly wandered around the mausoleum checking on the four kids who were imprisoned with you. They were still alive but who knew for how much longer. Days of torture and no food or water had clearly taken its toll on them.

Panicking about how on earth you were going to get them out of here to safety before the other ghouls arrived and save Sam and Dean, you started to gently & mindlessly grind your forehead against the wall in frustration. “Come on you fucking idiot, think” you muttered to yourself. 

A flutter of wings followed by a gentle hand on your shoulder made you jump and swing at the person behind you with the broken bowl still in your hand.

“Cas! But I didn’t pray for you. How are you here? How did you know to come?”

Looking a little guilty the angel confided “I’ve been tuning in on you every hour you’re alone after…Sorry (Y/N) but I can’t let you hurt yourself like that again”

“Cas you bloody legend I could kiss you! I need your help urgent. Quick read my mind”

Within a second Cas understood the situation. He placed two fingers to your head to heal you before stripping off his trench coat for you to wear. 

“Right, I think it might be best if you zap these kids to the local emergency room then come back for me and take me to Amy’s. If, I mean if, that’s okay? Er, please?” You still weren’t used to telling anyone, never mind an angel of the Lord, what to do. 

Cas just smiled and vanished with the kids. Doing up his trench you heard a noise behind you and turned to face one of the college kids Cas had just removed to safety. 

“Ghoul number two I presume”

“I see you’ve stolen my dinner” it said scanning the room “Well then I suppose you’ll have to do”.

It lunged at you but being uninjured you were more prepared this time. Vaulting over the raised tomb in the middle of the floor, you created enough breathing space to procure a weapon. Looking round you found a piece of the fallen in ceiling that was light enough to wield but heavy enough to cause damage.  
You swung the rock, catching the ghoul in the face. It staggered but kept coming. You aimed again but this time it deflected your attack knocking the rock onto the floor. Another ghoul grabbed you from behind, pinning your arms to your side. You flailed out with your legs kicking the ghoul in front in the head, causing it to lurch forward. You wrapped your legs around its neck twisting violently before crashing its head hard into the wall, causing it to go limp.  
The ghoul holding you roared in anger and you used its momentary lapse in concentration to jerk your head back hard into its face breaking the nose. It loosened its grip enough for you to get free, grab the rock and smash it in the face with enough force to floor it. Standing over it, you brought the rock down again and again until there was nothing left. 

Feeling triumphant you turned to deal with the unconscious ghoul only you were too late. Its hand grabbed you by the throat as it slammed you into the wall. Struggling for breath you tried to break free from its grip by scratching and kicking at it to no avail. Desperately trying to get your feet to touch the floor, your eyes started rolling up into your head as your vision darkened.

“End of the road hunter bitch” the ghoul laughed “I prefer live meat but for your corpse I’ll make an exc...Oh”

A warm liquid splattered all over you before you dropped with a thump onto the ground.

“I’m so sorry (Y/N), I didn’t mean to take so long” came the concerned gravelly voice next to you. Once again, you felt two fingers on your head and a warm feeling spreading through your body. “Are you okay?”

“Better than you’ll be when Sam finds out about all the finger action you’ve been giving his girl” you smirked.

“I don’t understand, Sam would want me to heal you”

“Bad joke Cas, don’t worry. Talking of Sam, we better get to our boys before that bitch does anything.”


	7. She’d Walk on Broken Glass for Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe the last. Let me know if you want more or if you're happy to leave it here  
> xxx

Cas zapped you into Amy’s living room just as you heard the Impala pull up outside. 

“What the fuck?” Amy shrieked. 

“I’ll explain later Amy, please just get upstairs and hide.” The seriousness of your tone was enough to make your friend scarper to safety without any further encouragement. 

Hearing voices getting closer, you and Cas took either side of the doorway, ready to strike. 

“You grab Sam and Dean out of harm’s way and I’ll tackle that bitch” you whispered at Cas as you took off the trench coat to enable you to fight easier.

You heard fake you open the door ahead of the boys. As soon as she was over the hearth you attacked, kicking her flying across the room and into the wall. 

“(Y/N)!” screamed Sam in shock at seeing you ambushed before noticing that it was you doing the ambushing “(Y/N)?”

Cas pulled Dean and Sam out of the way as ghoul you got up and started to charge at you with the knife. “She’s a ghoul” Cas explained. The boys pulled out their guns but couldn’t get a clear shot as you fought on, desperately trying to disarm the ghoul who kept slashing her blade at you. Hearing the guns cock distracted you, allowing the ghoul to stab you in the shoulder; just missing your chest as you turned to deflect at the last minute. Collapsing on the floor you heard the Winchesters angry voices before they shot the ghoul in the head. Seeing your boyfriend and best friend shoot you in the head was a very weird experience which made you laugh in a slightly too maniacal way. Everyone turned to you confused.

“Well that was a first and hopefully a last. Never let me get on the wrong side of you two” you explained smiling and trying to stand up. Soon as you did however the room span and you stumbled forwards into the sofa. 

Three pairs of hands caught you and laid you down across it. “Amy’ll never invite us back; we’ve destroyed her house” you wheezed out. “By the way” you reached up and ripped the knife out of your shoulder “could you Cas? For old time’s sake?”

Cas lent down and healed you for what felt like the millionth time that day. Dropping the knife on the floor you turned to look at the Winchesters who still seemed to be in a state of utter shock and confusion. You clicked your fingers in front of their faces to get their attention. Amy appeared at the bottom of the stairs looking shaken and moved over to sit at the end of the sofa by your feet before pulling the comforter down over you. You gratefully snuggled under it.

“How? What? I don’t understand” was all Sam could choke out.

“Cas can you explain please? I’m too exhausted”

So Cas explained whilst you dozed fitfully on the sofa; worn out from all the trauma and blood loss of the last few hours. Once Cas had finished explaining, he and Dean went to deal with ghoul you and the rest of the ghoul remains back at the mausoleum. A clearly shaken Amy bid goodnight to you before heading back to her room, leaving you and Sam alone. 

In your half dazed awareness you felt Sam sit next to you, stroking your hair before something wet dropped onto your cheek. A thumb went to rub it away but you grabbed Sam’s wrist, opening your eyes and looking straight up at his tear strewn face.

“Sammy? What’s wrong?” you murmured.

“I should have known. I should have realised it wasn’t you! I let you down again”

“Again? What the fuck are you talking about?” You pulled yourself up into a sitting position and tried to ignore the woozy feeling that came with it. “You’ve never let me down Sam. You’re my fucking hero! You keep me fighting the monsters every day. And I don’t mean the ones out there” you said cutting him off before he could say anything “I mean the ones in here” you tapped the side of your head. “Your compassion and understanding and tolerance of my bag of cats brain…words cannot do justice to how much you mean to me. When that bitch threatened your life tonight…nothing could stop me from getting back here to save you. You’re the purist most beautiful soul in the world. Fuck, you’ve saved the world enough times to prove that. I don’t know what I did to be lucky enough to deserve you Sam Winchester. And if this is you letting me down, well it’s still a million times better than I’ve had in the past so I’ll take it, thanks. Now can we please go get some sleep?”

Sam dried his eyes on his sleeves before lifting you into his arms and carrying you upstairs to bed. Nestled together under the sheets Sam whispered “I liked your hunting attire tonight by the way, I think hunting in your underwear should be your new look” 

Laughing you snuggled further into his chest lulled to sleep by the sound of his steady heartbeat.


End file.
